Another Day, another dress

Lately, life has been a cycle of job hunting, working on my data collection for an upcoming website, food preparation, chores and walks.  I would probably be enjoying life if money wasn't an issue and I could enjoy this time off...however, the other day, I realised that I love dresses.  In the summer, I live in dresses but never really thought about dresses all year round...however, as I grow older, comfort is a big factor in my wardrobe.  I have to be comfortable in what I wear and I find I dislike some items of clothing more and more as I grow older.

Things I've discovered about myself...I dislike things around the waist, Just no.  I feel boxed in, suffocated, bloated so no.  I like something that I can slip and not have much more effort in wearing clothes.  Shoes have to be comfortable.  I have to look the feel and the look of the fabric.

That said, I made another dress for the slightly warmer weather.  I have a feeling that I will live in this dress soon.  I'm pleased with the results.

It has been a while

I haven't blogged for a very long, long time.  I've lost touch with the blogging world as my world fell apart around Easter this year.  I had to walk away from my job and completely just shut off for a while.  However, there was a silver lining in all this upset, turmoil and conflict in my life...I began sewing again and even sold my dresses.  

I published pictures online in a group on Facebook and received some orders for my dresses and sold about 7 items of clothing.  Then, I thought at last!  And it just fizzled out.  I don't know what to do next.  I'm not very good at promoting myself.  I know I need to improve this, but my self esteem took such a kick in the guts this year, I really have struggled to pick myself up.

I want to be positive again, creative and have a better work life balance.  I keep getting emails from former colleagues and my tutor asking me to return to teaching and not to give up.  I really don't think they understand what it was like me for me at my last school.  I just can't do it any more.  However, I am starting to job hunt again.  I will rebuild that confidence that I once had.  I will also publish another knitting pattern and hold more competitions to win prizes!  I will blog again and share my projects and create an Autumn collection of clothes to buy in the shop as well.  All of this will happen.  It has to because I realise now that if I'm creative I'm at peace with myself and my life does fall into place then.

I thought I'd post some pictures of dresses and tops I made.  Maybe it will inspire people to buy something from my shop!

My friend Carol looks stunning in my change of hearts dress

A simple wrap dress, the fabric is 100%

I have two versions of this top, one with little sleeves and one that is sleeveless

When Times Passes

I've wanted to blog again and yet, it hasn't happened for a very long time.  It is too long of a story to talk about what happened to my time.  The short story is I had a job and it was too consuming, too overwhelming, too upsetting and I left.

So now, I'm at a crossroads yet again in my life, wondering what to do next and what will work for me.  I was so unhappy for so long that I don't want a repeat of that experience.  I had days when I cried and just felt so utterly alone, desperate to have something, to feel more positive and it wasn't happening.  I had moments when I felt like I was suffocating, just alone with my thoughts.  I would come home, be surrounded by two other people and still feel utterly empty.  Days turned into weeks and then months.  I realise that is deeply personal, all of this but maybe you'll understand...sometimes you just have to walk away.

However, out of something bad, something good came out of it.  I knitted a cardigan, I designed it myself and I live in it.  I wanted something that would be a classic style that I would just treasure for years, that would be me.  

Here it is for your viewing pleasure:

I am going to write up the pattern and have it published on raverly where you can buy the  pattern. Not the cardigan as that is my labour of love, it was my sanity, my quiet time away from all the demons in my heart and in my head.  I will give you the link when I finish the pattern.

From now on, between jobs, it will be my creative time, MY time, doing the things that make me remember there is more to life than stress and emptiness.  I feel like I've been stuck in a loop for so long, just going in circles, chasing my tail and I'm just exhausted so wish me luck on my next venture.

Summertime and Creative Pursuits

I haven't been blogging for a very long time.  Real life and my teacher training commitments zapped any energy I had for anything creative for almost a year.  I had zero energy and for the winter, life was literally, teaching on my teaching placement, preparing for my lesson, doing university and little else.  My teaching placement was also a regular pain in the backside to get to and it meant I was out of the house for 6:15am five days a week.  I had so much to work to do that none of my school holidays felt like holidays, just extensions of lesson planning, preparing my teacher training portfolio and working on university work...the only difference was I could do it from the comfort of my own home.  However, there was a light at the end of the tunnel and I am now officially a computer science teacher in Secondary Education.  Hooray!  

I do have things to prepare for over the course of the summer but for me, there is something ever so nice about having free time.  I almost forgot what that was.  So far, I've made 4 tops for myself, done a vine lino print and I'm currently sat here with a nearly complete cardigan on my lap.  I'm currently piecing it together and I will no doubt have to watch some youtube tutorial on how to do the neckline. How did I ever learn anything before the days of youtube videos?  They are my problem solvers videos to any things that don't make sense or I do not understand in sewing or knitting patterns.

Owl top number one.

Flowered top number two

Here are two pictures of two sleeveless tops I've made.  They only took an afternoon to make.  I have also made a long sleeved and short sleeved version, pictures should eventually follow.  One of the things that has transformed my bad attitude to pattern cutting is a rotary cutter.  How on Earth did I manage before?  It is so much easier and more precise.  I don't think I could ever go back to using scissors to cut out a pattern.

Normal life has been fairly stressful.  I have a new teaching job in the Autumn but it is the most awful place to reach by public transport.  We are currently house hunting and you know what stress that brings.  We are also on a time scale, no pressure there.  I wonder if we are being too picky or if we got lucky with this house (apart from one set of neighbours).  The houses I see are either too small, wrong location, out of budget, no parking, fixed furniture, kitchen with not enough room for our fridge.  Then when I see a suitable house, bham!  It's gone, let already...so I continue to look.  I feel like I spend far too much time trailing through houses to let...I see the same old houses with stupidly high rents still sitting there because someone won't lower the rent and the rent is just too expensive for most people.  There has got to be something out for us...

It's been a long time

I haven't blogged for a very long time as life seemed to take a turn and get terribly busy.   I knew this year would be difficult with my son doing his AS levels and me on my teacher training course.  However, it's been too busy to the point of being a bit unhealthy.  I only have 13 or so weeks to go...and I will be glad when it's over.  I have things to post...a few items of clothing I've made but I'm making dinner.  I just didn't want people thinking I vanished into thin air.

Cranberry Cardigan Update!

Sometimes life gets busy and its that routine and work and home and other commitments.  The positive thing is my son has finally finished his GCSE exams, all 24 of them.  It meant endless days of revision with me asking him questions from his revision guides, going through past papers and trying to be supportive.  But its finished and he is home for the summer, just relaxing.

Now that he has finished...my cardigan is nearly complete.  Here it is with the front and backs attached:

Hey, hey its taking shape.

And here's a shot of it with the sleeves attached:

Nearly there!

There's still blocking to do and the button to add on top but yes, its nearly complete.  Obviously, I would not wear this fitted cardigan with the clothes I'm wearing in the pictures.  They just happen to be the clothes I was wearing at the time when I took these photos.  I have plans to make two dresses to compliment this cardigan and I have two tops that would go nicely with this cardigan.  

I also need to write the pattern out and post it to raverly as its my own pattern.  Yup, I designed this cardigan myself.  I promise more artistic and better pictures when its complete.  But I'm pleased with it immensely.  Next project is well, I haven't decided the truth be told.  Stay tuned.

Patience and GCSEs

My son is currently in the thick of his GCSE exams.  He has 24 in total and 8 more to go. That's two and a bit weeks of me having to have endless patience and pretend to be super mum.  I don't really feel like that at the moment.  I have no free time, no patience, no personal space and yes, I'm super cranky at times.  Yes, its good that he wants me to help him with his revision but its just relentless and never ending.

Today, in between doing endless marking and helping the teenager with GCSE non-calculator maths revision, I've been trying to crack on with my sleeves for the on-going/never ending cardigan.  I've had to pull one side of my fronts back to the first butterfly because its clearly too taxing on my brain to count to one to five.  It was obviously just too difficult...how do I manage such glaringly OBVIOUS mistakes??? Where is the mind?  I ask you...at 48, I really just take a deep breath and relax.

Well, here's a photo for your amusement of the two fronts so far:

"life is like a butterfly"

It looks rather tiny but it won't be.  I still need to add the ribbing on the side and block it and add it to my beautiful back.  I'm on sleeve one.  As I've finished watching "The Story of Women in Art" on the bbc iplayer, I'll have to find something else to inspire me now.  Like the thought of not working in 6 and a half weeks for the remaining summer or that my son will finish his GCSEs soon...or that I am having my dinner made for me tonight by my wonderful other half.  Hope all's well for all of you.

Patience and a Piece of String

I would like to say that I would have more patience than I do these days but seriously, right now, no...that is not the case.  My son is in the thick of GCSE exams and I have no peace, no personal space, no free time that is truly my own.  He wants me to ask him questions, go through past papers with him, mark them and help him with things he doesn't understand...its constant and never ending.  Yes, I'm glad that he is trying his best but truthfully, we are both exhausted and I have painted the room blue with colourful language some days.

In between helping him with exams, I've been knitting.  I've finally finished my two fronts, backs and am currently doing the sleeves.  I had to unpick one second back to the first butterfly as there was two glaring mistakes I could not ignore no matter what and also, I did one butterfly too many...because obviously at 48, I'm incapable of counting correctly when there is 5 butterflies on one side. Its clearly too much on this taxing mind. What an idiot I can be.  I still have a LOT to do.  Blocking, adding the ribbing, etc.  But here's my fronts:

Yes, those are butterflies.

Yes, the very tops don't match exactly but it was the best I could do with the decreasing and following the pattern.  Its from my own pattern so fingers crossed...I've never knitted a cardigan from a pattern I've made myself.  Maybe I should put the pattern on raverly when I'm done.  I guess it depends upon how it looks and IF I can remember exactly what I did.

I have some fabric to make a dress but that is not going to happen this weekend.  Aw well...it will happen when it happens.